You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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