Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
