Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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