do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
