I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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