Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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