Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
