no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
