whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
