Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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