Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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