i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
