She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
