You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
