I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
