I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
