You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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