Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
