i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
