I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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