i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can't turn off my feet"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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