Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
