i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just gargled with NyQuil
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
