i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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