I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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