i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
