is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
