are you still at the devil's house?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
