a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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