I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
