who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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