I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
