That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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