i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
