cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
