He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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