We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
