need another drink. this is the easiest way
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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