I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
