no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
