hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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