it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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