all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
