Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
