In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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