this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
