I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
