Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
