New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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