I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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