I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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